My heart isn’t in it

This trying to be mean

I don’t want to do the

Things that I have seen


I feel I’m being forced

To do things I detest

But in reflection

I am doing my best


Not to be mean

Or nasty to others

But merely to find

Hidden things to discover


What is the purpose?

Of pushing this far

Just to see a reaction

From a distance so far


I say to myself

That one day it will stop

That I will be able

For this protection to drop


But who am I kidding

If not only me

For I look at my enemy

Who sees what I see


Until such a time

I must struggle on

To protect what is mine

If only for so long


At some point in this life

Some long distant future

My children will be able to see

That in their lives avoidance is the key


Until such a time

I continue the strife

Knowing that all children

My one day enjoy life