Archive for March, 2006

Interesting little gadget for the police, an ear camera. Constant recording of any interaction. But considering that Christopher Alders death was captured on cctv what difference is it going to make! It’s a tool for the police to cut down on the paper work which I can understand but it is also an invasion of privacy. The example used on the tv was a domestic violence incident. Every one has points of turmoil in their lives, when your at your worst and most in need of support should that be used against you in a court of law.  Shows where we are going on the control front. The concept of accountability would be good if it was for the safety of the public, but that is not what it is about. It’s about increasing the conviction rate of offenders, and domestic violence is on the increase and for many is an indication of where other criminal traits lie. If you’re a bad man or woman in your house there is a high probability that you are bad in other aspects of your life. Guilty by correlation, what the f*&£.,,31200-headcam_p10035,00.html


Back to Christopher Alders death. This was as the direct result of the “the most serious neglect of duty by the police, unwitting racism and the result of stereotypical behaviour” and thus they were pensioned off and another death added to the statistics. I have to consider that the legality of killing leaves a lot to be desired, pure madness in that someone can be killed and an institution be held responsible.,,31200-alder_p9804,00.html


I like the guy who on hardtalk the other day stated that the UN needed to adjust it’s policies and individuals within it needed to take personal responsibility for their actions and not hide behind the concept of institutions. This was in relation to war’s and the lack of action by the UN based upon institutional restraints. As stated all institutions are based upon individual decisions that affect real lives and as such there must be some form of accountability. I think that this concept is desperately required within all UK institutions, it is only then that institutions may stop killing people and getting away with it. Like it wasn’t me that ran you over it was my car!

Being a behavioural specialist I understand that some parents unwittingly assist their children in making ill-informed choices. Hence any work that is done with an individual can unwittingly be undone. But what of a parent who chooses to supply a child with alcohol, tobacco and or drugs directly or by omission. I’ll give you a pouch of tobacco so you don’t steal mine!


I don’t understand the mentality. If I phone you and ask are you aware that your son has some tobacco and you reply “well yes actually I know he has it he took it out of my car”, hmmm are you aware that the tobacco has a large lump of hash within it, “no, he found the tobacco within my car while looking for his comb and told me that he had hidden it there some time ago, I assumed it was his as I didn’t even know about it”. What about the hash? “no idea, I don’t smoke any more”. You *^%$ing dim wit.

One of my older boys has this theory on selective breeding, I can see both the funny side to it and what he has based it upon.


As much as one may try to enhance the life experiences of another there are those individuals who seem not to consider or care for the longevity of a persons development and thus set them up for long term failure. No one is able to exist in a vacuum and even should thy choose to do so socialisation is a necessity for a growing individual. It is thus that I tolerate certain individuals in my life, but hay if I’m screwing with you it’s because you have fallen short of my expectations of what an adult should be, and if I’m stinking vex with you it’s because there are traits that you are showing that I do not want in my children’s lives hence your no friend of mine.  Now I know there are going to be certain people that are screwing at this right now, but before you come banning up your gums at me you need to consider how you would react should I demonstrate traits like yours around your kids. Weather this be skinning up till I can’t move no more or drinking till I puke and mess up myself? Either way you need to know where I am coming from.


Now to make matters even worse my little man phoned me to say he was having problems with his computer and asking me to do the remote assistance thing with him (love it, association by technological communication, phone, Internet, web-cam the lot there with him every night). Anyway I hear shut up Isaiah in the background and have to ask him what else he is doing. Two minutes later I hear shut up again and the boy starts to whisper. What the f&^%. Now some people would say I stink and carry on bad all the time but I would say at times like these it’s a good job I live so far away. Now you tell me which part of that was his education, which part considered his socialisation needs and where was the encouragement for a nine year old that wanted to converse and communicate rather than vegetate in front of a TV. Because that is why he was being told to shut up, they could not hear the TV. Let’s hope I calm down before I reach there tomorrow.  Inadvertent bullying is what I would call that. When you make another abstain from or do something that it was not their intention to do. Give it five more years and they will wonder why he is telling them to piss off on his way out the door.


I ran up my big mouth a long time ago and stated that it was merely a matter of time before they would come to me. It’s not always good to be proved right, especially if someone else is paying the price.  Sometimes the desire to be on an island is overwhelming.


I was banging heads with some young girl earlier (yes you know who you are) and we was on about the socialisation of youths and an individuals ability or inability to make a difference in the lives of young people. There are certain aspects of child rearing that are a necessity and these should not be based upon individual social circumstances but upon the ability of an adult to consider more than themselves. As such should not all individuals who have contact with young people be taught responsibility, and I say taught as it seems to be something that many do not have or display. Yes I know I am asking for a utopia but you don’t ask you don’t get. Don’t get me wrong I am not a saint but in certain circumstances I believe if you are an adult you need to play that role regardless of whether or not it is as you predicted. If your marriage is over, move on, if you didn’t plan children tuff deal with it, and if your married and things still are not what you expected then stop dam breeding, either way there are young people who are constantly being influenced by our every word and or actions. Scrap the sex education thing and bring in some work based upon personal development and growth and trends within society rather than East Enders (I have such a loathing about that show).


Done for now but boy still vex

The opening lines from Dizzy Rascal’s tune on my blog. What can I say, I feel the meaning of these words. I can not say I know what he is talking about, as it seems every young black male’s story of turmoil strikes a cord with me. What I do know is that these words represent a feeling, a state of being, an expression of emotion when it comes to describing the continual struggle one feels when dealing with both individuals and institutions within this country. The concept of old ladies clutching their hand-bags as we pass them in the street has swiftly being replaced with the words “institutional racism”. No longer do we feel ostracized when walking the streets as the streets are ours, we own them, have claimed them in the blood of our youths, for this is a battle that we have fought and won.


But what of the institutions? These buildings are now placed centrally, (was it Faucolt who spoke of not only the sexuality of buildings but how they were strategically placed so as to offer the maximum observational advantage(should have read that one twice)). Local council offices have been replaced by central government buildings. Once there were the rent offices on the estates but these were costly and indefensible should riots or serious disturbances occur. What we have now is the local council office with close circuit TV systems, and unbreakable barriers of glass. Safety in numbers hay, most are situated within walking distances of police stations (just in case). The boundaries have been changed. The lines redrawn as the enemy take a defensive stance. The war has begun!


Should you venture within this arena be warned the rules of engagement have altered. Your numbers shall be diminished. Should more than five of you gather in one place then you are liable to be approached and disbanded after being searched for contraband or defensive/offensive weapons. Should you attempt to infiltrate under the guise of responsible citizens out for a night of merriment after work, be warned, that should you be caught up in any violent disturbances (we know you are able to defend your home, street, community or nation), your next visit my result in your death in police custody, and institutions can kill you!

I am seriously biting my tongue while I try and catch up on the news of the death of Christopher Alder.


My interest is that I did my dissertation on the death of Stephen Lawrence and the concepts of race and racism within contemporary Britain.


I have sever difficulty dealing with the concept of institutional racism. I’ve been there before I will be visiting again soon but for now I need to read some.

Sort ya stuff out, Rasta is meant

To be the spiritual leader of the

Community, the one from whom

Guidance can be sort in relation

To the state of being, social

And political settings. So for

Those of you who are more

Concerned with how much

Weed you can move, grow

And sell I say you’re a Rastitute,

You have sold your self’s and

The Rasta religion out big time.

Ya trodding street worried about

What garms ya wearing and what

Car ya driving, ya a disgrace to

Me and mine and I am not happy

That so many of our young now

Consider your procrastination to

Be a way of being. Rasta back in

The day wore kaki and camouflage

To represent the continual struggle

Of ages, war is what we are in and

You are the enemy within our mists

With your undermining tactics of

Seducing our children. You are

Killing our future and ensuring

That there will be no inheritance for


Motivation by example is an easy one

But what if you want your kid to be who

They can be rather then who you were.

Motivation by internalisation is a much

harder concept.  Are we restricted to 

conceptions of our societal bonds or are

we able to assist development in a direction

we do not know or understand. Some

born again Christians predict the collapse

of the monitory systems, other religions

predict some kind of apoplectic  war,

either way our democratic life styles

are facing a crisis. We rely upon those

beneath us (our children) to hold to and

promote the same values as us and thus

secure for use the life styles that we facilitate

for our elderly. But look around, do the coming

generations know let alone consider their

grandparents. They know more about Bill

Gates than they do about Nan and Granddad.

As I read somewhere more people go to tesco

Than to church on a Sunday so what guaranties

Does that hold out for us that or philanthropic

Era will continue and flourish. I chat with

Many persons slightly older then me, my

Parents generation, and it is disconcerting

The concerns that they have not of the

Clinical care that they shall receive but

The loving touch and consideration of

Another, partner, children, grandchildren seem

To mean so much to them. A life time of work

And accumulation and consensus would have it

That belongingness and familiarity are highly

Regarded in later life, Hmmmm. The only thing

That can keep my ass kinda still is kids. And even

That’s a lie as there is much to consider as in schools

And amenities and the such like. Had I considered

Having my boy with me I would have possibly

Taken the other offers in Nottingham. Yes we know

It has it’s rough parts, but trouble finds trouble and all

That, besides which rough is a perceptional thing is it


Someone asked if I was militant

My response is to the core. Not

That I would bare arms, but that

I would challenge and confront

Anything that I considered to be

Unjust. That I would be willing

To take part in direct action against

What I felt was worth while. Historically

This is what are current position is

Based upon, individuals willing to

Go that extra mile for what they

Believe in. The concept of big

Brother has most peeps scared

Shitless and unwilling to speak

Their minds let alone take action.

Good luck to ya when ya sleep

And watch out when ya meet

Someone like me, as if ya not

On my side then I know where

You stand. Lucky for you there

Are not that many of us about hay

In the guise of teacher, trainer and student should

A routine be such in consideration of others.  Can

You have routine and consider anyone other than

Self?  I have always been an exponent of moderation

But this requires manipulation of time circumstances

And individuals. Guarantied outcomes from interactions

Based upon law and tradition = manipulation based

Upon an education in both primary and secondary

Forms of socialisation. My educational stance is

That of break the cycle and change your history.

There is an underlying assumption that the history

Needs to change!  While I disagree with the

Ethos of our educational system the concept of

Growth and education I can not disagree with

For this is the path to enlightenment and progress.

Knowledge is not just to be accumulated but built

Upon and shared for the benefit of people rather

Than nations. The concept of nationality is beneath

That of race and religion but this is relegated to a

Subordinate position should you introduce the

The concept of monetary reward. For a financial

Reward governments and individuals are willing

To forgo the concept of belonging for that of

Perceived monitory advantage over another. This

Equates to the concept of greed. Justification in

Relation to self and kind, preservation, it is often

Produced to support the natural state of being.

As the basis of motivational learning, training

And individual growth monitory gain is a good

Motivator. Built in diversity comes in the form

Of individual and institutional filtering out of those

Who are regarded as being acceptable and supported

In their educational achievements and thus

Enhanced life opportunities.  

Wide awak in a dream!

I have a passion for children, I see in them

Such potential and possibilities. I am of the

Original treckies who knew Kirk well and

Are not happy with some of the cameo roles

That he has been in in recent years. Anyway

I have not had to do the parenting thing for a

While, weekend farther -ship comes with limited

Responsibilities and having been there before

Hay I fell into the ignorance thing. Slap bang

Wallop, how times have not changed what. If your

Children are acabemic then this is an easy role

 To play, anyone motivated can pick up a book,

But the days of kicking of doors and telling peeps

Not to take liberties with ya kids or else has become

Slightly blurred? Some peeps don’t know where

To get off and being who I am when it come’s

To the boys I can be slightly over-reactionary,

Hay to me that is a good point! Trying to find a

Place to do Jujisu or something physical before

I explode (ha) been a while. Standard keep-fit

Just will not do. The boy’s well up for it. Guidance

Or manipulation?


By the way, can someone get back to me and tell

me who song that tune "Wide awake in a dream"

back in the day! So ya age Ha!

I am somewhat of an anti social person

In that I feel that the government has to

Much control and say in our day to day

Lives. I am also of the opinion that some

Individuals use there positions to do things

That on a one to one level they would not

Even contemplate trying, bullying and such

Like in the carrying out of their duties.

Generalising this is aimed at middle government

Individuals who use there positions for

Self fulfilment and gratification. What I am

Dead set against is those individuals who

In life look to make things easy for them

Selves and hard for others. My main beef at

The moment is with drug dealers, regardless

Of the type of drug that they peddle they

Are an out and out pain and seem to be

Attracting younger and younger clients.

Now I have had info along the lines that

There are certain individuals within this

So called community that when not

Pushing drugs are supplying young peeps

With alcohol, start your addiction somewhere

And make friends with the uninformed

And immature and all that. I am now pissed

Off to the point that I am going out of my

Way to find out who they are to ensure

That they stay away from my son. I have to

Ask the question where are these police officers

That I so often bump into when least expecting

It. Like a visit to wales and being stopped in the

Early hours of the morning to be informed

That I have just intimidated a car full of men,

Or after being attached by two skinheads and

Being stopped and searched after giving them

Some licks. What’s the world coming to when

I have to take on the role of community policing

To ensure that my son does not become mixed up

In drugs and loutish behaviour. I do not want

To have to use draconian methods and lock him

Up all day. If I wanted him to be a drug dealer

Or pimp I would introduce him to some of the lads

That I went to school with. I am so aggrieved over

This that I am considering taking the law into my

Own hands. Having lived a little (ha) I understand

What is necessary but why should I be forced to use

Methods that put my liberty on offer when there are

Certain individuals who’s purpose and role is supposedly

To protect our young people from such things. It is

Easier for youngsters to get hold of crack, coke or

Skunk than it is to get hold of vodka, something has

Gone seriously wrong. That prison mentality that says

Let them have their drugs it keeps them pacified has

Now reached the streets of most towns cities and villages

Within this country, soon to be showing at a corner near

You. “Fuck it should have stayed a gangster” as the song goes


I like these tunes that I robbed

The other day. Liked the look

Of the site where I stopped too.

There is some good British rap

Going on out there and it’s nice

To see it promoted.


The site


I don’t often get bored but when I do

I find it so frustrating, almost like being

Caged and pacing for a way out. Making

Some adjustments to the baby boy’s base

Unit and it’s taking for ever to defrag. Pain

In the butt. Missing for a few days, got to sort

Some shit out. My use or not of language

Depicts where I’m at.

Took a little walk out on the streets tonight

Didn’t expect to see what I saw. Kids as

Young as 13 & 14 out on the streets pissed

(I must be getting old and naive). Outside

the local garage and chip shop, girls shouting

their mouths off and smashing bottles, kid’s

hanging about in dark corners smoking and

drinking. Don’t know what to say. I would

imagine that their parents are somewhat like

myself in that they give their young people

a little space to see friends and make their

own judgements, but it was an informative

little walk. Going out again tomorrow night

to a place called the half pipe. Apparently this

is where the majority of the young drinkers

hang out as no adults go there at night. I am

going to make a little exception. One I am

interested to see where it is that my son goes

and two I am looking for the young man that

put him on the floor last night and trod on his

face. I suppose that I am lucky in a sense in that

my son is allowing me into his world. It was so

cold out there I could have pissed ice cubes but

there seemed to be quite a few kids out there

looking for somewhere to be and something

to do. I don’t know what to say to that.  Back

in the day in south London there were youth

clubs and adventure playgrounds with space

to do table tennis and all that, every night that I

remember except Sunday and everyone was there

at some point during the week. Out here other

than chasing the sheep and cows there doesn’t

seem to be much to do. The boy and I did a quick

tour of the holes and corners and then picked up

some fish and chips on the walk back. He is a

bit on the shaken side. I think that the more he

thinks about it the more scared he is beginning to feel.

Of course that is my assumption. He went to Tesco’s

And said that he met people he never sees and they

Stated that they either saw him last night or assisted

Him at some point during his journey home. Don’t

Know what to say to that one either. Being in a new

Area I don’t know his peer’s, a disadvantage to

The max. With the older boy’s it was easier as I used

To do the cab thing at the weekends and thus got

To know most of their peers by name over a period

Of years.  Forgot how much energy young men have

Skating is not enough so have to dust off the weights

And sort out some serious exercise. Hmmm, you love

What you hate. I am a kind of all or nothing guy and

Thus weights for me means feeling uncomfortable

Most of the time (funny) like my arms getting in the

Way when I went to bed. (little laugh to myself

Remembering being able to use my bicep as a pillow)

Jujitsu is the order of the day. Done most of them,

Karate, Judo and all that. Jujitsu was good in the sense

Of balance with defences, consideration and like minded

Individuals. Kinda took to that along with the weights

Back in the day. So already looking on the net for the local


As drunk as a skunk!

My son came home so drunk last night

I had to help him up the stairs and to his

Room, put him to his bed and proved the

Obligatory bucket. After being sick several

Times I met him coming out of the toilet

And again helped him back to bed. He has

Vowed never to go out on a Friday night

Again. The condition he turned up on the

Door step in I am somewhat amazed that he

Made it home, it did cross my mind that who

Ever he had been drinking with left him

Propped up at the door. I never had this

Experience with my older boys (now 21,22 & 23)

I never saw them in that condition just as

They never saw me. I think myself lucky

When he tells me stories of older boys

Asking him to go on the local coke run

With them between the villages, but I

Long for the old days of Brixton youth

Where individuals like that would go

Missing for a few hours to be taught

A thing or two. I phoned his mother

Looking for the support that the other

Is to provide, but she was concerned that

She had PMT and her tit’s felt to big to

Be going out to the local club with. And

Then it hit me, he is his mothers son too

And unlike the older three he did not have

The advantage of my being around to instil

Moderation and respect for the body. The

Echo’s of his mothers laugh followed me to

My bed as she shared her son’s demise with

Her crew as pre-dancing entertainment. Eight

Years of inconsideration is much to fight against

And it has been a long year since he has been

Here with me and there have been many

Challenges. But I am hopeful. Hopeful that

He will feel loved enough to adjust, hopeful

That he will learn to love himself and ever so

Hopeful that maybe I can consider a way to

Support his younger brother so again in two

Or three years I am not left to pick up the

Emotional peaces of his undeveloped mind.

I am not my farther but I resemble him

Not in my looks but in my persona

There are aspects of him that I love

And dislike within the same breath

And it is these that keep me motivated

In regards to development, not that he

Did not develop as I often consider the

Hardships that he has overcome to

Attain the position that he now holds

As wonderful in his mental and physical

Abilities. My challenges are incomparable

As are our lives and styles, but there

Remains within us both the notion of

Betterment for the physical and social

Being. My mother on the other hand is

My balance. Her growth and development

Are spiritual in nature, there is something

Majestic in her persona which those that

Meet her often pick up on. That sense of

Calmness, wisdom and understanding that

Goes beyond words. But yet I find myself

Contemplating how my children will view

My efforts and endeavours when they are

My age. I see the pressure and misunderstandings

That they pertain to and wonder how things will

Be for them in thirty years. I can not help but

Wonder. Is there more that I can do to assist them?

Is there more that I should do to restrict them?

Time will tell is a great saying of mine but I

Am impatient for the results. Children require

Guidance, freedom and understanding, but

While I do not think that times are more dangerous

Than they have been in the past, there is something

About our present society which exposes our

Youngsters to too many worldly ways far

To early. I look at my son and wonder where

His childhood went. He is old in years and

Understanding but yet so young in consideration

And contemplation. I watch and support and

Try to understand but I fear it is all beyond me

And that I am merely here to observe his

Development. It is easy to say I would not

Do this or that, but I am not his age or have his

Experiences. But yet I am still ever so concerned

Over what the future holds for him and his peers.

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