Archive for June, 2006

Everything I know about people is false and based upon my conception of our last encounter. Thus each meeting is anew and begins afresh the process of interpretation. Thus friendships, relationships and regular encounters bring with them not only confirmation of the other but also of the self.  And thus we distinguish those with whom we are the same and different regardless of the social setting. It is thus that the self is transient with many individuals who may only glimpse one aspect of another. If this is appealing or recognised in some way further enquires are often made in the investigation of the other and of the self. It is thus that we start to build relationships!


It is thus that I am pissed off with family members who are not allowing my son Malachi to be who he can and wants to be. Based upon passed experiences I feel that his actions and intentions are severely restricted by those who proclaim to love and respect him. Yes he has been a pain in the ass at times, and yes he has done things that are not comfortable for us as adults to deal with, but considering that he has just turned 13 and his brothers are 22, 23 and 25 and his mother is in her 40’s I am very defensive of the continual negativity that is directed towards him. Allow the boy to learn from his mistakes and not suffer because of them. Allow him to see that others can be none judgemental and positive in their dealings with him. It would seem that many families need this conception of having at least one individual who is not the norm. One member of whom it can be said that hay he’ll never amount to much good, the black sheep, the one on the verge. I do not agree with his and that is putting it mildly. To see this happening to Malachi is making my blood boil. To observe adults who rather than deal with their own issues would restrict the development of a child makes me want to bang heads together. Malachi has the reputation of being the bad boy, beyond control, lacking respect for others and self but that reputation is one that while may have been of his own making is now firmly held in place by the adults in his life. Even a visit to my parents resulted in my having to step in and question how it was that they were interacting with him. Get your hair cut, why are your trousers hanging off you like that. Who told him to tell my mum and dad that he wanted to locks up his hair hahaha. It is a good job that my parents know me so well as things could have gone a totally different way. But even there I had to request that they allow him to be who he wanted to be right now and support him in that rather than bribe him to change for the future. It was a good weekend in that I got to see all the boys except one (what’s up with that Noddy) but it was a stark reminder that I shall be the adult in these relationships for a little while longer. My mum tells me that she is my mother for life, and while thinking I knew what she was talking about this weekend has brought a different form of realisation upon that statement.

Passion again!

Recent events have led me to question what is right and wrong in life. What are the priorities that should and should not be taken on board in our day to day lives?  How far would you go to love another? What is the concept of love? Is unconditional love a thing of longevity or merely something that we aspire too? Well don’t look at me I have no bloody idea, I am just the same as you dealing with it on a daily basis init. Passionate is how peeps have described my actions of late. Ummm. Not much I can say to that is there. I am combining my educational knowledge with that of the love for my son. Is there any other way to be other than passionate? Passion equating motivation which equals longevity. That is how I see it and yes I am very passionate in what I do and believe. While my faith in the system of things is continually shaken, tested and bewildered my faith is love is supported, reinforced and justified. What else can I say. Missing Spider.

Psychology init!

Oioi feel like a pig in mud


Got re-accepted for my course in psychology

Long time over due init, had to drop this

When Malachi came to live with me but

things are kinda settled so back on track

haven’t stopped grinning for a few hours

now and my jaw is hurting.

Ok on another mad one


My son came home Wednesday night after being down the local youth club. He turned thirteen last month and is thus now old enough to go. He had been going some months before that as he had lied about his age haha, but someone grassed him up so he was kicked out lmao. Anyway Wednesday night about ten minutes after he had gone to bed I got whiff of skunk coming into the front room. I went first into the bath room and it is so strong in there. Then I went into his bedroom and saw this little red eyed monster looking at me. I just told him straight to pitch the shit out of the window and get his sorry ass into bed. Ok I am a fairly liberal guy and it’s not like I have never smoked weed in my life but there is something about skunk that really scares me. I know peeps that smoke it and have witnessed the changes in their personalities and to be honest I don’t feel comfortable around them any more. Anyway Thursday another day and Malachi off out again with his mates again say he is going to this youth club. He came home shortly after nine, massed up to the point that his eyes were a blood red. Well enough is enough me thinks, so come Friday I take a walk down to this youth club. Malachi had told me that there are staff there during the day when it is not open. So I take a walk down there and knock on the door. I explain that my son had attended the two previous evenings which they confirmed and then stated that I was of the opinion that someone attending or near to the youth club had been supplying him with drugs. Well low and behold the woman picks up this peace of A4 paper that she had just had laminated and told me that they the youth workers had noticed an increase of skunk use in the vicinity of the youth club. And while they did not think that any was being brought into the club they were aware that it is an issue just outside their grounds. I was like what the fuck are you being serious? I offered them a name, from my last excursion onto the streets when my boy lost his phone and it turned up in another village, and they stated that while they were aware of this individual they did not think that it was him as he operated in another village where they had carried out work before. Now by this time I’m sitting there thinking that maybe the whole fucking world has gone mad and no one told me, so I ask the woman what it is that they have done about these issues. Her response was that it is not there domain as it is not in the club or on their grounds. She said that she had a very good idea who the two individuals were but that because I did not put there names forward as suspects there was nothing that she could tell me. I said let me get this right, I am telling you my son is taking drugs and you as a youth worker are saying that you have a very good idea of who would be involved but that you are not going to tell me. She said yes and I left. I am going to put in a written complaint to the local council first thing Monday morning as I think that for individuals who are employed by the local council for the benefit protection and well being of the young they are taking the fucking piss by know, suspecting and having ideas about who is dealing and not doing a dam bloody thing about it. I for one am walking street at night again looking for the punk who supplies 13 year olds with weed as I am gonna drag his or her sorry ass down the police station myself if I can hold it together that long.

Your Life Path Number is 7
Your purpose in life is to find truth and meaning

You are very spiritual, and you are interested in the mysteries of life.
You are quite analytical and a great thinker. You have many theories and insights.
A life of solitude is perfect for you. You need time to think and do things your way.

In love, you are quite charming. You attract many with your confidence and wit.

While you enjoy being alone, sometimes you take it to an extreme.
You can become too isolated, shutting out loved ones and friends.
Express yourself a little bit more, and you’ll be surprised where it takes you!


What Is Your Life Path Number?


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