Archive for December, 2006


just boys ramping init!

It’s been a funny few days in that nothing seems real, whatever that may be. Isaiah and Malachi are both here and its almost as if with no one else around they are willing to be brothers. No macho imagery of bigging up ya chest and all that. Duno been some time since I have seen them like that init. I would hate to think that I am restricting them more so Malachi from being a child as it is something that he seems to enjoy init. Got a few pictures of the boys ramping yesterday and don’t know when I last saw them ramping without it braking into a fight, argument or tears. Spent half the day in the kitchen yesterday and popping into the front room every now an again all I could say is don’t mash up my speakers dem in the sock fight, pissed myself as Isaiah is half the size of Malachi and had him pinned in the corner swinging his 20 pairs of socks in the longest one he could find joka fa true! I haven’t called them as yet, now being 10.30. They both had fairly late nights, Isaiah with his book and Malachi with his DS. I remember when Malachi used to love reading like that, don’t know what happened in the eight years to put him off! My dad was reminiscing over xmas dinner and saying how Isaiah reminds him of Bradley when he was that age, all eager to learn and shit. He also reminded me that also like Bradley Isaiah has had to be moved up a year in primary school to keep him occupied and out of trouble. Not that he is a trouble maker but when he gets bored every dam one will know about it getme! Still waiting for my dad and bro to send the rest of the xmas photo’s but dem man dem don’t do nothing in a hurry fa sure! Between the food that we come back from my mums with and the chicken I got from market plus the mince Isaiah and I got at tesco’s yesterday don’t know when I will need to cook again other than breakfast every day but that’s nothing too tuff! Everything done cook and freeze-up already. Only thing left to do is some white rice.

CID IN DA SPACE!!!!!!!!!

Oioi careful CID in ma space!!!!!!!! Was wondering where you boys had got too been quiet for a while init!!

 

 

CID = Community Individuals in Disguise pissing my self here I tell ya!!!!

 Jane Doe gave me a bottle of Brandy and said come round mine and drink it!

 

John Smith gave me a bag of weed and said when ya free come round mine let we reason!

 

Jane’s dad died from a drug over does and has now hit the roof as I told her the invite clashes with John’s.

 

John’s mum was killed by a hit and run drunk driver and is well vex as Jane’s invite clashes with his!

 

All things are equal with Jane and John. I have known them both the same length of time, visited them both equal amounts of time and slept with neither of them ya jokas!

 

What shall I do? Drink with Jane or smoke with John? I only have the one evening free and don’t have the time to make it to both, I have to choose one. So come help me pick!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so ya come again!

What ya fucking come back again! obviously ya wasn’t listening!

 

Right remember how I was teaching ya to fix up ya daughter, ya know hole a fresh an dat, well ya wanna fine out what dush mean and hole one of dem too init or I might write her an explain as don’t think say you know what it is! Ya next two photo’s up come back again!!!!!!!! stop wasting ya time in ma space and go clean her room ya fucking joka! Surprising how resilient kids are considering their breeding init, must be the influence of grandparents or some shit getme!

 

For every comment ya make I’m gonna add another two photos ya goat!!! So keep chatting init! Take it ya done clean out ya kitchen now as ya keeping that quiet. Now go work on the rest of ya yard an come back to me when ya done init! An ya wonder why man want to come mash down ya face and ya yard sorry but ya not baiting me with that shit. Go do what ya doing as ya going down an looking to take peeps wid you init, but don’t worry enough bad man were ya live to help ya out getme, ya na just done tak one to court for mashing up ya face! An as I said ya made me let down a good fren but ya more than likely was drunk, gang banged or did have to hide from next man init! Ya ask me to give ya a bly from the last time ya was pissed, ya got the bly and still here banging up ya gums Piss off getme!!!!!!!!!

 If I was to take my ex-employers to court and come to an out of court settlement I would not be able to say anything would I? as they might put that in a contract that I don’t say anything to any one getme! Good job I am not doing that then init, and if I was I would sign the contract after saying something! Or would I? You would be surprised who reads these pages, social workers and government employees seem to have a lot of spare time jokas. Hold still as I am coming for you next getme!

 

Listen young girl Clare seeing as ya don’t want to listen to what I am telling ya, gonna make it plain. Ya keep ya self and ya place nasty (so why would I come down there more than I have. Feel lucky believe that I came back after the first time. Ya was lucky to meet ma boys dem an other members of ma family, still calm ya self down init as only a few peeps have met my mother! Don’t forget to ask ya dad if he got ma tunes init and tell him he can drop by for tea again any time getme! An ya mum safe too init born joka like the baby photo’s too! The way ya make dem young picknie dem run in an out of ya house is jus dam stupid. The more I get to know ya the more I see that my first decision was right init. While I don’t mind fucking ya every now and again me and you aint no item and I keep telling ya the same thing so don’t know where ya going wid ya big mout self getme!!! . So stop fucking banging up ya gums dem and go clean ya kitchen. And sorry I couldn’t do it for ya but if ya up for it I know one or two man that will team up to see if they can help ya out. Let me know an I’ll pass them ya addy init!!!! In the mean time why don’t ya go and have another drink ya joka!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Oh how I love MSN who needs east enders!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Managed to do most of what it was my intention to do this year, but I am so fucking gutted that the one thing that I would give them all up for I did not manage. Malachi is permanently out of school. I have taught him at home since September and there is an alternative education plan that is meant to start for him from January which does not involve him interacting with any other children. I have to ask my self what it is that these bastards down there think that they are doing to him. Isolation from one’s peers in younger years in a predictor of social and emotional difficulties in later life. I don’t know what to say as those that have come to this decision are educational psychologists, inclusion officers, social workers and behavioural specialist from Rutland County Council. What the fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Still ya know that’s an indication to what I will be doing next year init. How can you expect a 13 year old to walk street on their own, go to a local youth club and do 2 hours of work with a tutor, go home have lunch and then go to the local I.T centre and do clait or what ever it is. I know and have known adults who have difficulties in taking responsibility for their learning and this is what they are expecting of him! Or is it?

 

If ya know me ya know I love my car init! But love is costing a whole heap these days getme. Last week it was £376.00 alternator and the week before it was £395.00 full exhaust. Gonna learn to ride a dam bike, poor car carnt take my running up an down the country jokes fa true.

 

Speaking of madwoman, had this joka on the phone the other night, still trying to figure out what that fuck that was about! Yes ya know who ya are ya joka! Haven’t heard shit like that from time, mind you Claire carrying on like that now but like this madness was at least like 15 years down the road and just a dam angry. Sort ya shit out and stop phone me ya fool and don’t let me tell ya again I don’t want chat wid you on or off line getme!

 

What is it with these mad bitches that ya carry on stink when ya don’t get what ya want? Pissing my self at the idea of peeps who try emotional blackmail and shit to get ya to go out with them, get real fa fuck’s sake who ya think ya dealing wid!!! If I wanted to got out with ya I would have asked ya in the first place getme but ya fancy a shag does not equate to lets get married fucking joka’s!!!

 

It would seem that everyone in Oakham wants me out init, from the local school to County Council to the man dem next door. Well ear what me still ere and looking forward to passing ya sorry ass same way next near init. Dem bodies in Essex carry on the same way init, but petition couldn’t move me so where ya think ya going wid ya foolishness! Mind spider gonna crawl in ya dam yard and fuck you up!!  

Delilah who???????

My last blog entry entitled delilah_thompson@hotmail.com is by Delilah and not mine init. So for those of you “SVG” who were thinking that I was trying to have a go at ya ya was wrong getme!

 

Delilah what can I say other than “ya joka” but sweet as at least ya wrote something init. Nice to know how I am sometimes perceived by others init as we all need a little feed back every now and again. Will chat wid ya later’s D when the phone batt’s recover init been under a whole heap of pressure lately joka’s!

 

Well me baby goes away on Wednesday and Malachi goes away one week later! Dam carn’t life be such a bitch at times.

 

Spent the weekend playing ps2 and sleeping. Managed to get like 13 hours sleep in one go from sat night to sun after noon, bloody joka, Malachi managed the same less an hour with no probs init!

 

Random thought! EBD reflects those individuals who have not succumbed to bullying or reasoning and thus represent a danger to the status quo. As such they are the subject of the inclusion exclusion debate. Do you break their spirit in public and force them to conform or be controlled by the judiciary or other mechanisms that we have in place or do you offer them exclusion as alternative educational provision? The resulting social exclusion is the consequence of either method and thus has achieved it’s aim.

How hard it must be to be you,

How complicated, invigarating, confusing and amusing,

it must be to be you.

 

How fulfilling it must be to be you,

to constantly play the way you do.

 

How empty it must be to be you,

to constantly play the way you do.

 

How untouchable must you feel,

Cacooned in a space I can’t imagine to be real.

 

How must it feel to have too much of everything,

I can only imagine

I am happy with nothing.

 

How must it feel to be a hundred men,

How must it feel to be a lion in a lions den.

 

How must it feel never to accept blame,

How must it feel to be insane,

How must it feel never to be tammed.

 

How must it feel to divide and separate

in such multitude, with such speed,

I can only imagine

I have no such need.

 

How must it feel to feed the vultures a crumb at a time,

over time,

and still keep enough for yourself.

 

How must it feel to have so much energy,

To inhale and inhale,

And never explode.

 

How must it feel when no one can penetrate,

Who is who

I find it hard to separate.

 

How timeless and fearless it must feel in your world,

How endless your struggles

How tired you must feel

But never to reveal.

 

How must it feel to be covered in steel,

Which of you, if any, is real?

 

Talking about Half Term

 

Quote

Half Term

Spent the half term in Oakham with my dad and his friends, it was ok spent most of the time on the xbox and at Rutland water
 
 
 
 
If ya get the time pop in to ma baby boys site and drop a line init, would be well sweet of ya and all that!
 

The LapTop is dead, long live the LapTop.

My baby has packed up on me! Think I wore the poor thing out, keeping her up all night, turning her on and off when ever I felt like it, well to be honest left her on most of the time. But now the poor thing just carnt take no more and has drained herself of all power and is lifeless and cold! Could it be that I asked so much of you my poor belovid? Could it be that I was so wrong to rely upon your size and graciousness to sustain me in my years. Oh woe and behold just when me was thinking that hay maybe this one will go the distance. Maybe just maybe this one will work a little harder. But its always the same init, when ya need them most they are not there to support you, no matter what the reason . Still suppose I will have to do what most men my age would do and get a younger model or at least revamp the one that is not working, but had enough to tide me overs and fix me ups for one life time, so go by experience and just change her as once trouble starts it’s a long and dark road to recovery if ever getme!

So now my time is restricted, not before 10pm and only till 9am am I able to use this replacement while my son sleeps in his bed. How kind of him to share his precious babes with me. To allow me once again to run my fingers over her letters. Not the same, as I can see everything whereas with my babe it was all done by feel as he letters were worn or missing, good job I learned to do it by feel, joka, and some of the keys were a little loose but hay she had experience, remembering much of what it was I wanted to do and would often finish or at least suggest a task for me to perform! Oh how I miss you already but also already realise that I can live without you, at least for the time being.

As it goes things always seem to happen for a reason. This is the week more than any other that I need to read and have no distractions and thus it would seem right that my baby not be her to keep calling me and catching my eye, divine intervention, karma, luck? Who knows but the result is that I have more time energy and emphasis in all that I am doing! Some things were just meant to be or not hay!

So now that the webs have been made and carefully placed the 42spiders crawl into their respective places and wait patiently for the next vibe or shudder to indicate a new arrival. Missing

 

 

It was lovely waking at 4.30 and listening to the rain pouring down. Dam it’s Sunday but my mind recons it had enough time of yesterday and wants the ass to get out of bed like now! Compromise, got up at 6, the rain and the wind sound excellent.

 

 

Got five letters from the local council yesterday, had a quick look at them, seems someone is back tracking and looking at complaints now init, seems the war has started.

 

Got three meetings with the council next week they must be in a hurry to clear everything up before the festive season begins get me good will and all that ya jokas!

 

Got the exchange of documents coming up at the end of next week for the industrial tribunal case, they made their first offer and I had to ask if they were being serious.

 

Citizens Advice Bureau advised me that seeing as I had done so much on my own already and that the negotiations using ACAS had already started there is nothing that they can do for me. They expect individuals to come to them from day one and then someone else handle the entire case rather than just the closing of it, and I am like what the fuck are you being serious. I am not needy enough of support yeah right!

.

For those that know and understand me yes there are one or two outside the family jokas! I have locked off. My mind is off on one and I am doing my best too keep up with the dam thing

 

Had a conversation with Malachi’s mother the other day bout his up coming appeals and shit and the girl turn round and told me that it was inevitable he would have difficulties in life cos he is aware of how differently peeps treat him and he acts like he is black!!! While his younger brother is not as cultured as he is. I referred her to my blog on the changing conceptions of black cute and black masculinity around the 10 to 12 age range as I couldn’t be assed to instruct her in person joka!

 

While it has taken solicitors and the like to finally get hold of Malachi’s school records (past and present) I am fucking disgusted to know so much effort was put in to gathering, collating and observing but nothing was done to prevent, support or instruct the lad!!! More than likely wanted it for one of those case studies that I continually read about, you joka’s are aving a serious laugh get me!

 

 

If ya give someone enough rope they will hang you! Give then a little more and they hang themselves! Fucking joka’s!!!!!

 

 

Lost me digi cam!! Malachi is loving it up as the only other thing I ever loose is the car in every bloody car park!!!

 

Lloyd from Nott’s told me some time ago that he had been on so many college course he had forgotten what he knew get me!

 

I think that everyone who is considering having children should be forced to do a joint degree in sociology & psychology!!!

 

When is childhood meant to end??

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