Archive for March 29, 2011

openness shows

I have noticed a

Coldness of late

In my responses

To the physical being

Not wanting to be


Or to appear mean

I had to ask myself

To observe


And lets see what

Will be seen

What a revelation

Such a simple act

Has been

All my friends

Hug me

Ok so there’s only a


All my children hug me

All grandkids too

I hug my mother

My brother his partner too

But what was surprising

Was I keep my distance from


I don’t shake hands on meeting

I give a slight embrace

Unless it’s official

Then I’ll just look you

In your face

Trying to place you

And read beneath your


Trying to see if your body

Reveals lies

I guess I’m quite suspicious

Of motives of the mind

Comes from my background

Hay what a surprise

For even as a child

I sensed more than I

Wanted to

And often got rebuked

For speaking what was true

I see no point in lying

For it would be to me not to you

And thus I hate dishonesty

For even robbers can be

True to themselves

And admit what they are

It is my experience

That bank managers

And politicians

Have never been this far

And thus my observations

Have now come to a


For I am of the opinion

That I have con’s and pro’s

But so love that my

openness shows



I did not mean to

Hurt you

I just needed to hold


For had I let go that

Would have been so


For it would have been

My demise

Selfish maybe it seems

To you

But at the time I was

Trying to be true

To me and all I ever


For I had nowhere else

To be

I did not mean to deceive

But I could see no other

Way to bring about my

Own reprieve

For I had lost my way

And saw your strength

I had to hold on as if

Hell bent on survival

In my desperate time

Of need

Hate me if you must

Take away your trust

And exclude me from

Your life

All I ask for is forgiveness

And thank you for your ability

To deal with such strife


Ok I’m here for a while poking around so might as well try and learn something new or at least enjoy the challenge ;D ……

Jingle introduced me to this site with an invite last week to It has been a positive experience and steep learning curve for me. Such lovely people, poetry, verse and sharing xxXxx.

Thanks to Aleza & Kavita for providing another space and chance to express who and what I am xx


Ok I’m packed and

Ready to go

Looking forward to

The rest

And other people

Getting to know

How will I cope

Getting away

From myself


One way ticket

I should have got

Came for a while

And my past forgot

Such comfort

Surrounds me

Surely this is

The place to be

Island in the sun

A paradise

Feast for the eyes

So why does everyone

Want to leave

Head for other lands

For what do they

Perceive it to be

Concrete views and

Morning rush

Would replace the

Sunlight and natures

Hush of rebirth

What is it in the mind

That says the grass is greener

In that place to find



Shall I go left or


I’m sure I was here

Some time ago

This crossroads does

Look a little


Am I going in circles

Now I’m confused

From which direction

Did I come

I’ll have to leave it

Till morning and

See where the sun


I’ll rest awhile for I’m

Tired of the journey


I’ll brush the dust from

My shoes

Tell tail signs of the

Miles I used to

Pass between places

This is a journey

Without an end

And that does frighten me

For it lacks predictability

Are travellers good people

To befriend…



With John the Baptist’s body

Being found

Along with lead books underground

Is this the start of yet

Another profound

Religious mystery

For surely be the

Devil wise

Such things would be hidden

From the eyes

Of all those that want

To see

The ending of these times

But such are things

We see and are heard

That in this life

We are not deterred

From causing


Time will tell

Our story


Everywhere I go I observe


Waiting in the doctors surgery

I watch the space and faces of

Those who enter and the


Of where to sit

The receptionist who looks

Down and talks to her

Colleague after you’ve left

The counter is she the

Personified bitch

At hospitals it is almost

The same a group of

Bodies playing the waiting


Come in in two’s some

Wanting to blame someone

For their condition

I watch I hear what’s

Going on almost as if

A mission

Who is sick and who

Escort I’ll catch all

Those details and make

My report

A visit to Tesco’s is no

Different to me

Other than at times

Familiar faces I see

That woman that smiles

As she loves my dog

That pot bellied man

Who once called me

Wog always rushing


The attendants that

Are busy making themselves

Pretty hoping some

Young man will notice

Them today

I pass by the isles with

Outwardly smiles thinking

Thank god for scan and pay

The high street is different

Familiar territory but always

Full of insight and new ones

To me

Of comings and goings of

Telling and showings has

To be better than tv

My dog known as prancer

Almost sets the pace

Strutting along with his

Own open grace

Legs and tail stiff only

Bending at wrist ok

Paw but to me it’s the


Head to the clouds he

Looks all around and sniffs

Whatever comes to


Embarrassing at times for

I do often find that his head

Is the height of a crutch

A hundred yards on the left

A tug at a vest catches my


A nod down the street and

Four pairs of eyes I do meet as the

Lads now pay me attention

A little line is formed with

Faces of scorn as they march

Ready for annihilation

It is too late when they

See who is walking with me

And dive in different directions

I can only smile head held

high for a while as I pretend

Not to pay them attention

Across to my right those

That have stopped at the sight

Of the youngsters on the floor

A movement of the eye

Show’s those I have passed by

Pointing in my direction

Sure of a sound I stop turn

Around but the headphones

Distort a direction no eye

Contact with me impossible

You see for dark glasses block

Out a view thus a quick glance

We continue to prance back

In our general direction

That’s enough for today

Let’s be on our way for

Tomorrow may bring something



There are some moments

When time stands still

Clock watching

As if to kill

All that we are

Restricted to a space

Only going so far


There are some hours

That seem like days

So much happens

That we don’t know what

To say

God I thought it was

Later than that

It seems to be dragging

And holding me back

Restricting our lives

To a clock

There are some minutes

That feel like miles

Distance travelled

Eyes held in smiles

The birth of children

As if in slow motion

Looking at a scene

During its explosion

There are some seconds

In which all is frozen

No time to blink

Just in case we miss

Some think

That this is illusion


Is it just seeing past

That original glass

Of sand

Which released each grain

As if by hand

Measuring out our



I cannot be more

Than I am

My eyes quickly move

As if to scan life

As it passes me by

I look I see different

Aspects of me in both

Women and men

I cannot be who

You want me to be

For my motivation is

Different you see

My soul is not for sale

Gratified by lies and

Hooded eyes you tempt

Me with your kiss

But I have seen those

Drained by your love

And no longer want it

To be

So pass me by with the

Tear in your eye for I shall

Pretend that I do not see

For crocodile tears and hidden

Fears is all you seem to be

Danger Will Robinson danger

Approaches in the guise of


You are not someone on whom

To depend for you agenda is

My demise

I cannot be more than me for

I am restricted by my education

You see for I have been educated

In the school of life

And it has shown in the time I’ve

Grown that not all is what it appears

To be

And thus I walk alone in the dark

Trying not to be seen for both the

Devil and God know my name and

I long decided not to play that game

Thus I walk in the shadows peeping

Out just to see what I can see


Can someone be happily depressed

It’s a serious question I’m

Doing my best

To try to see

What others do

It’s really hard pretending

To be you

Can someone be happily depressed

I did not make it up I confess

It’s merely an observation

Or two

Actually to be honest

I’m talking about you

You depress me with your

Sultry style

No morning how are you dear

Have you been up for a while


Didn’t I get a coffee

What you eating already

My coffee’s cold

Move on I tell you

For it’s plain to see

That you love to sit

In a lap of misery

I don’t want it

Don’t like it

As it’s not necessary

So close the door when

Your leaving and don’t

Bother me



Come take me

To that darkness

For which you hold

Such fear

To that other place

I know is constantly


For you have shown

Your ability

To identify a fact

To walk around

The edges never

Looking back

What is it that scares


Is it that you know


Is it that a glance or


Would be detrimental

To your health

And sanity

For I see in you that


From which you always



We all love to tell a story… some of us are bold… some of us need inspiration… and to addiction hold… to give us an insight… into those things that we have missed… a hidden clue… a long lost love… a vision of being true… we all love to tell a story… embroider of our past’s… fiction, fact or fantasy… of which we hope will last… if not in a reality… then at least in our minds… and thus with our addictions… an audience we find… who will consider… or at best show an interest… to that thing that has a hold of us… yet we see not the mess… of our illusions… or deceptions of our minds… and thus with constant repetitiveness… our stories we refine…

Stupid o’clock and I’m still up… doing that which I do best… seeking new challenges to put our government to the test… for now it’s considerations of longevity… and those acts I can leave behind… I thus I search far and wide… for legislation to find… for there has to be accountability… maybe not to me… but should not I start the process… where will my grankids be… other than in this living hell… no notion of conspiracy… but more of an admittance… of my own complacency… for I should have started long ago… but was distracted on my path… to have a nice time in life… without consideration to last… history brought us here… what lessons have we learnt… each generation with fear… feels entitlement to more than earned… long live the revolution of the mind…


How many times have

I closed my eyes to a

Wrong being done

To look the other way

And not be the one

To stand up for justice

And what is deemed to

Be right

To not listen to another’s


How many times have

I chosen not to be concerned

It’s none of my business

It’s not my turn

To intervene or take up

A crusade

To offer my all and put on

Parade all that I am and

Could be

How many times have

I turned off the tv for

Those burning images that

Always upset me I do not

Want to be part of today

Close my eyes and mind

To the words of suffering

That I hear constantly

How many times have

I died a cowards death

In my heart knowing I

Could have made a difference

But chose to regret

Forgive me those of you

Who have already passed

For I have insulted your

Spirits be running fast

Away from the challenges

Of the heart and mind

For my gratification of

Some other kind

That did not see a longevity

Or the death that such

Decisions be to all of

Us this humanity


Where the heart is at

Rest is not always the

Best place to be

For an inner-city child

Is what I was born to

Not liking to be confined

I always made time to

Be out in the country

Any excuse not to give

Or take abuse and of

I would go merely

Let me into the fields

Get covered in hay

Make my bed in a corner

In the sunny months of


Let me run open and wild

In the hills as a child

For do you not know

This is where I want

To stay

To climb up a mountain

And have lunch with god

To feel the breeze of the

Birds less than five feet


To walk in the clouds

And admire there shadows

To look down on the valleys


An inner-city child I was born

To be but always there has

Been that explorer in me

Just wanting to go home

To mother nature….


Seven speakers in such

A small room

No matter how you

Concentrate all you hear

Is the boom of a base line

Drowning out the world

No longer again to think

Or discern those screaming

For a reality no longer to

Live in a life we do not see

For we choose not those

Places to which we are born

But that does not stop us

To sit judge and scorn

For those who are spirited

Away without ever having

The chance to say

I just want to be free….!


Only those never been

In love

Go looking for it

As if some book or

New trick

To be added to

A repertoire

Let’s play this game

And see how


We can manage

To get this time

Do you not know

That your love is

A crime

For you steal away a youth

Leaving behind

A husband or wife

Alone and confused

Not knowing what happened

While you were


In such senseless


For maybe they were too

Blind to see

That you were looking

For love

And did not notice

The stars up above

That shine for our


To you it’s all just

Another story

So you going

Looking for love

As you’ll never be

That hand in glove

That inspires the heart

To move

And thus from the equation

Yourself you remove

For you are still looking

For love


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