Archive for June, 2010


You came and went so quickly

I did not get a chance to say

That I loved you oh so deeply

I would do anything for another day

You came and went so quickly

I was thinking I had more time

To sit and discus with you

Those things we call divine

To know the love of another

To call that other mine

You came and went so quickly

There will be no other time

To tell you of those things

That you did inspire in me

To show you that I found my way

And know another way to be

You came and went so quickly

And left me feeling this way

Was it something I did or did not do

That made you leave that day

So many questions unanswered

From the bottom of my soul

But known above all other things

Are that you defined and made me whole

You came and went so quickly

But I will always remember you

For the love you showed in such a short time

Is that love that helped me too

Understand true meaning

And the passions that are in life

You came and went so quickly

But you were a blessing in disguise


 

I sit here in the darkness

Waiting for your light

To guide and support me

Turn my darkness to daylight

I sit here in the darkness

Knowing I am not alone

I feel others around me but

Without light I dare not roam

I sit here in the darkness

Straining my eyes to see

Can make out a few shadows

And other concepts of me

I sit here in the darkness

Afraid to open my eyes not

Sure if what I would see

Would bring about my demise

I sit here in the darkness

And slowly open my eyes

That light is blinding and

Bringing about surprise

I sit here in the darkness

And you are right here besides

Me

All I had to do was open my

Eyes for now I can clearly see

We are all here sitting in the darkness

Do tell me how this could be for

I sit here in the darkness

Clarity like the clear

Morning spring

Emerging

From a mountain

Deep within

How long has it

Been on this

Journey

And just where

Did it begin

Was it that drop

Of rain

Once glimpsed

On a distant

Land

Or maybe

It was never

Seen

Like the oasis

Hidden by the

Sand

Thus it is

That a calmness

Has over taken

Me

No need to

Search

To look or find

Just let it

Be what it must

Be

For that clarity

Of spring water

Does oh so

Nourish me

I found myself in the

Deepest of trances

Watching my life unfold

Listening to my past

As if a story told

Heard without emotion

Seen without a heart

Watched as if a movie

From beginning not taking part

Known were many actors

For the parts that they

Did play

Watched form beginning

To end

Not a word did I have to say

There was nothing to defend

I found myself in the

Deepest of trances

And liked what I did see

Woken from that illusion

That used to be my life

Where have I been all these years

How was it that I was blind

To walk around and not see

To listen and not hear

Woken from that illusion

That used to be my life

What was my motivation

What was I trying to achieve

Why was it necessary for

So many to deceive

Was it

Really me

I find this hard to believe

Woken from that illusion

That used to be my life

I have defined you

And made you all

That you can be

But you are too stupid

And choose to be blind

And not see

Your so full of hate

That you have nothing

More interested in

Trying to justify

And even a score

I have defined you

And made you all

That you are

For your purpose is

To push me just that

One step too far

Thus with my changes

You have mimicked me

Your wanting to be

All that I am

For your jealous nature

Is so coming through

Don’t you see I’m the light

And your my shadow too

Sometimes your with me

When the light is low

Sneaking and creeping

Wherever I go

In the darkness your free

To do as you will

Searching with hunger

Looking pray to kill

Your a reflection of all

That I possibly am but

Distorted unreal and

Merely a sham

Of the being and knowing

That resides in me

I see you I know you

But I still let you be

Ok I lied but what’s your point

You never talk much sense

After a drink and a joint

Just lay there legs open

And googly eyed

I’m off

Taking the dog out as I

Do have some pride

Blame in on the alcohol

Blame it on the weed

Either way I feel deceived

Ok I lied but what’s your point

Never seen you sober

Or without a joint

Never heard you speak words

Of truth

Only drama when your hitting

The roof

Do tell what its all about

Not able to converse

But only shout

Ok I lied but what’s your point

Do have another drink or

Light the blasted joint….

Lay still lay still

Pretend to be asleep

She might wake up and go

Now start counting sheep

Slow down the breathing

Try and make it the same

Dam my hearts beating faster

I so hate this bloody game

Lay still lay still

I’m going to fart

Try and make it silent

And don’t bloody laugh

"oh your awake then"

That distant voice

"I’ve got to go soon"

There’s option now choice

"I’ll stick the kettle on and I bloody need to pee"

Again with the options no

Response from me

"where’s me fags and do you fancy a brew"

Decisions decisions now what to do

"No thanks I’m fine and have things to do…. "

Shall I be honest and say

I’m waiting for her to go…

No do not mean and at least

Some gratitude show

"I’ll be up in a sec and do something to eat…

In the meantime have a shower and I’ll put on

Some beats"

To drown out the voices

Inside my head

Asking

How the fuck did she get

In your bed

"Morning dear"

Let me run away forever

And my bones to never be found

Let the earth open up and swallow me

I promise not to make a sound

For I see your pain within your heart

And you carry on so brave

But cry I must for both of us

For I’ll never be a slave

To that notion of everything is ok

I look at you and for once I know

That there is nothing I can say

To ease away that hurt I can feel

From a hundred miles

No matter what you say I no longer

Feel your smile

The world has just got colder

And even nature feels your pain

Let me run away forever

Or go walking in the rain

To hide my tears of anger

At what was done to you

For I know you did not hold back

And that your love was true

Oh to be so disadvantaged in your

Only expressive need

I hate the day the earth was born

Only to serve mans growing greed

Of inclination to play with another’s soul

I wish I had that ability to help and

Keep you whole

Let me run away forever

And my bones to never be found

Haunting images of yesteryear

Pain distorted memories

Now surface as fear

Smiles and tears mingled as one

Not know where to start

Or what was begun

Haunting images of times to come

Concerns raised notions

Of restricting the one

Lost actions and omission

Of the mind

Searched for in lightning

For answers to find

Just to glimpse those distant wonders

Haunting images of life….!

I die a little each day

From the looks of passers by

With no words to say

I feel them steel my life

No conversation inclination of like

I die a little each day

Hash words spoken

Or thrown my way

Not willing to stand or fight

Merely indignation like passing of night

To bring about another day

Missing are those things I should say

But seen in such reality

That this is not the way for me

For

I die a little each day

But today seems even more than before

For the burdens placed upon me

For not wanting to be a Smith or a Jones

But wanting to do it all my own way

As with all things there’s a price oh to pay

Thus

I die a little each day

I tried to hide my heart

From its destined path

To live and love for lovers

Sake knowing it would not last

I tried to hide my heart

From the hurt and misery

For minds inclination is to

Protect me don’t you see

I tried to hide my heart

From the joys and births of life

Consoled it in the night

And hushed its sorrowful cries

I tried to hide my heart

From the knowledge and the truth

That loves lost and found were

Not only in our youth

I tried to hide my heart

So that others could not see

For once its known that love does

Reside in thee

There can only be retribution

From others that feel the pain

There can only be destitution

From those without a claim

To loves true meaning and knowing

That this is not a game

I tried to hide my heart

But you found it all the same…

In search of home I climbed to the mountain top

And thus saw the ends of the earth

Sat down a while and considered some things

Included was my style

In search of home I dived in the sea

And found my self in it’s depths

Cold and dark with distant lights

Of the dead and all her regrets

In search of home I found my way

To the thickest of the jungles core

Lost amongst wilds things for a while

Until I could take no more

In search of home I camped upon the beach

And listened to the midnight shore

Waves crashing sand shifting for time ever and more

In search of home I went down to that valley

Where death does guide the blind

Looked and saw those forbidden things

And came away with clarity of mind

In search of home I returned back to you

Thinking that my time had done

Lost and confused for realisations sake

That home was always with you

In search of home

If the world be defined by love or hate

What is your constitution

Do come and tell what direction you take

For your life’s own manipulation

If the world be defined by love or hate

What is you motivation

To seek those things that have no mistake

Or follow those of pure retribution

If the world be defined by love or hate

Driven to extremes of excess

By ones guiding force

To follow ones heart and minds determination

For all else to be exclusion

If the world be defined by love or hate

What direction will you go

For does not matter which you take

From both a direction will grow

If the world be defined by love or hate

I held you just for a little while

Watched you sleeping with that little smile

Twisted and turned as if you might wake

Then changed your mind and again did comfort make

I held you just for a little while

Your eyes did flutter like the birds

Waiting to take flight in that land of dreams

Supported by angels well to me it did seem

I held you for just a little while

Watched the dawn breaking and the earth begin to smile

Distant birds chirping as if calling your name

I held you for just a little while

Day has started with such sudden haste

Up and running just in case

Not to be late or caught in this game

Missing for a while till we again do the same

I held you for just a little while

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