A culture of acceptable endangerment

I was involved with Rutland County Council social services last week, not the first nor I suspect the last time. Their disrespectful racist discriminatory behaviour always leaves me shaking my head. They willingly continue to encourage young people to leave Oakham for nothing more than pure economic class and discriminatory reasons.

I chose to ask my seventeen year old to leave home rather than put up with a torrent of abuse and aggression which was becoming increasingly worse. I had intended to try and hang on till his eighteenth in two months but the attempted physical intimidation was a step to far especially after the encouragement of his mother a qualified approved social worker (go figure) whom recently held me from behind while he punched me in the face (I never thought I could show/have such personal restraint).

I wasn’t surprised when the police and social worker turned up but I was surprised that their concern was that I had assaulted him. I told them to get on with what ever process they thought that they needed to follow but I felt it necessary to remind them that the last time they tried that after eighteen months of investigation their own conclusion was that my older son could not be with anyone more appropriately qualified to cater for his needs ie EBDS and the judges condemnation of their stupidity at allowing themselves to be used.

I advised the social worker that I would be very much concerned should they not support my son and send him back to Colchester as they did with his brother as soon as he turned sixteen only to be put out on the streets a month later by his mother.

I’ve yet to hear from Rutland County Council but I have been made aware that my son is in fact back in Colchester this being despite my having raised my concerns that he was in danger of becoming involved in a drug culture that had already claimed and ruined the lives of two of his brothers with their mothers enforcement encouragement and support.

That in essence is a reflection of the deeply inherent discrimination held not only by these small minded inbred individuals in Oakham but as a generalisation the mentality of those whom work within social services up and down this country. There is a mentality of not prevention but perpetuation of abuse without consideration of those young people involved. A stupid blind person could see what these individuals refuse to see continually meeting after meeting and in the case of these bigots here that refuse to act upon not a one off warning but a continued warning spanning years. I advised these racists that should they send my previous son back to his mothers he would continue his drug and alcohol abuse which is why he came to me in the first place. And now with the second child after having hindsight and my continual warnings pleas and evidence of the environment he will be going into they took a day to make the arrangements for him to go….

It’s this culture of middle class superiority that has children being sexually abused in their hundreds that has a revolving door syndrome for families that to their own detriment often approach social services for support only to end up being accused manipulated intimidated and bullied for generations for one involvement is justification for any further investigation even of the next generation.

As a farther I’m in my twentieth year of fighting these assholes and I continue to watch as my children are denied an education have their life styles restricted are continually put in situations where their actual lives are in danger all because racists don’t want them in places like Rutland and will go to any extent to exclude them socially economically and politically.

I’ve today been told by rumours that my son had been excluded from one of his two college courses. Things are falling in place. I haven’t heard anything from the college but that may be because I expressed my concerns last year of their encouragement of my son to drop two other options to concentrate on triple business studies and triple sport my concern then being that failure of either would result in him not obtaining enough grades to enter university “don’t worry mr wilks we’re fully supportive here” fucking cunts….!

What was whole

To have heart is not a deceptive thing

To have heart can only goodness bring

In the fading of the light

In the battle to distinguish

Wrong from right

To have heart is to feed the inclination

Of the mind

To seek that which is oft difficult to find

In the darkness of men’s souls

In that space that makes separate

What was whole

To have heart is to see the face of God

In all things dark and light

If only if only I’d know that would be the end

In my youth I would chop down tress

Make all kinds of thing in an attempt

To please that which was pleasing to

The eye to those things I made men

Would cry oh do make me one of these

In my youth I did not see all those things

That relied upon that tree

The birds the bees and bugs that did need

Somewhere to call their home

I did not see the wind as it did take the

Living giving breath that the tree did

Make and so I continued to be me chopping

Down every tree I did see

Now that youth has long left me I look about

And nothing do I see for all has died without

That tree that I did cut down unthinkingly

No birds to fly nor song do sing

No bees do buzz nor dive nor sting

Without that wisdom of the bee there is

No beauty in the flowers to see and thus

I may as well be blind for nothing is there

For me to find in this world that I did make

All that’s left is knowledge of that mistake

I made in my youth of cutting down those trees

If only if only I’d know that would be the end of

Me

Are meant to be

I know this place I have been here before

But not in this reality

It is but a distant dream of what was to come

A glimpse of what there was to see

I know this place I have been here before

How can it be that my memory has remembered

Something before it has happened to me

How can this be that there lays before me a

Path to be walked alone

Am I alone walking in the shadows of the day

I look at others and sometimes want to say

Hay don’t I know you is this not where we

Are meant to be

I know this place I have been here before

Carried upon the winds

Did you not see me as I walked as your shadow

Going to those places you had already been

I followed in each and every footstep feeling

Knowing that we were both kin

Did you not feel me as I covered you

At times I knew everything that you would do

For I was your skin and at times reached there

And waited for you thinking where had you been

Did you not feel me as I flowed through your veins

Pumping flowing making us one and the same

I took a breath and you exhaled

We were one like a boat and it’s sail

Never going nowhere without the other

And yet both moving this way that way

To discover all that the seas had to share

Did you not miss me when I left you

Did you not feel me leave with that last

Breath of air as life said its goodbyes

Did you not hear the sound of my cries

Carried upon the winds

And shared in those tears that your eyes

Did bring to your cheeks as they were kissed

For the very that last time as life passed us by

How can you not know me how can you

Not remember for even in death we are one

And the same xx

Am I alone walking in the shadows of the day

I know this place I have been here before

But not in this reality

It is but a distant dream of what was to come

A glimpse of what there was to see

I know this place I have been here before

How can it be that my memory has remembered

Something before it has happened to me

How can this be that there lays before me a

Path to be walked alone

Am I alone walking in the shadows of the day

I look at others and sometimes want to say

Hay don’t I know you is this not where we

Are meant to be

I know this place I have been here before

Is there anything you can say

Should you be that body without a soul

Is there that chance once again to ever be whole

Do you walk as if shadows in the day

Is there anything you can do

Is there anything you can say

Should you be that body without a soul

Are you acting this way or are you restricted to a role

That was placed there by destiny

Is there any other way that you could possibly be

Should you be that body without a soul

To the smallest of small shadow

Full moon tonight looking

Down upon me

Full moon tonight seeing

What it can see

Are there faces in that moon

Then tell me do tell me why

Those faces I never see

Full moon tonight lighting up

The skies

Giving all the stars that chance

To say goodbye to the dreams

Of yesterday lighting up the way

For everyone to say

Full moon tonight lets us go outside

And play in its glow while darkness

Does not know its being restricted

To the smallest of small shadow

Full moon tonight

To wake and not know your name

How can it be that in a dream

I know those things those places

We have been

And yet in the lightness of day

I know not your name as you

Walk my way and I am left

A wondering is my mind playing

Tricks is this some wrong doing

Of my hearts imagination

Oh the hurt the pain the mere

Frustration of having to walk

Alone

How can it be that in a dream

You hold my hand as silently

They scream our souls do depart

Flying high as if never apart

How cruel the reality of life

That in my dream I call you wife

To wake and not know your name

For you….

There is no need to lie

No reason to look away

Or pretend to be shy

For all I see is your shadow

Of dreams unheard screams

As your ready to cry

For the deception is in your heart

That part of you that was there

From the start

There is no need to lie

For I know where your headed

And to death say goodbye

For it was yours from the

Beginning of the end

No need for deceit no need

Of pretence

For shadow is your only friend

As I bid you farewell no

Outstretched hand is there waiting

For you

For your lies have revealed all that

Is true and brought about your

Own end

That very first kiss

You can pretend that

Our eyes did not meet

That there was not that

Storm a ragging sheet of

Rain and wind and sleeting

Gail’s that ushered away

Our love

 

You can pretend that

Our minds did not see

That inner glow that longing

To be something anything other

Than this that fearful moment

That very first kiss

 

You can pretend that

You don’t love me and hide

Away beneath the scares of distant

Memories longing to be that other

Longing to see the distance of a smile

Now find a way

Rooms without windows and doors

Are they still really rooms having just four walls

How do you get in

How do you get out

Rooms without what’s that really about

In these rooms you’ll find my all

In some there are big

In some there are small

But they all make up that total of me

Now find a way in and see what you see

In those rooms without windows or doors

Love you mum XxX

Love you mum XxX

Did not my mother bless me
With life given from the heart
Did she not hold my hand at
Times when I strayed apart
From true meaning and my
Wicked ways I did screening
From her sight knowing full
Well those things she told me
Were right
Did not my mother bless me
And tell me everything would
Be alright as lost in that darkness
I struggled to see the light of
The coming morning listening
To her echoes while Satan
Stood there scorning the solidity
Of her faith
Did not my mother bless me
When she said to the self be
True for we can hide from all
Others but in the end god says
I knew you were mine
Did not my mother bless me
My son I pass this blessing
Now on to you to hold no
Fear within your heart to accept
Your mistakes and move on
From that path of distraction
For there is little satisfaction
From those things not of the
Hearts inclination
Did not my mother bless me

Exists only in memory

The closer I get to you

The more of myself I reveal

The harder it gets to conceal

All that has been before

The more I want you to hold me

The harder it seems for you to console me

For all that has been before

Exists only in memory

There is a pain and understand

In all that has been known as me

The closer I get to you

As we seek shelter from the hurtfulness of living

Can there be any notion of originality

Should one consider that there are more

Living than the dead that have gone before

And yet we would act as if we were the first

To conceive of the lie eternal that we do not

Seek nor understand love and it is thus that

The world continues in that which it has come

To know the pain or denial and the every lasting

Conflict of self hatefulness and deception of the mind

As such it is the dreams that have become reality

As we seek shelter from the hurtfulness of living

 

xxX