Category: self


To have heart is not a deceptive thing

To have heart can only goodness bring

In the fading of the light

In the battle to distinguish

Wrong from right

To have heart is to feed the inclination

Of the mind

To seek that which is oft difficult to find

In the darkness of men’s souls

In that space that makes separate

What was whole

To have heart is to see the face of God

In all things dark and light

In my youth I would chop down tress

Make all kinds of thing in an attempt

To please that which was pleasing to

The eye to those things I made men

Would cry oh do make me one of these

In my youth I did not see all those things

That relied upon that tree

The birds the bees and bugs that did need

Somewhere to call their home

I did not see the wind as it did take the

Living giving breath that the tree did

Make and so I continued to be me chopping

Down every tree I did see

Now that youth has long left me I look about

And nothing do I see for all has died without

That tree that I did cut down unthinkingly

No birds to fly nor song do sing

No bees do buzz nor dive nor sting

Without that wisdom of the bee there is

No beauty in the flowers to see and thus

I may as well be blind for nothing is there

For me to find in this world that I did make

All that’s left is knowledge of that mistake

I made in my youth of cutting down those trees

If only if only I’d know that would be the end of

Me

I know this place I have been here before

But not in this reality

It is but a distant dream of what was to come

A glimpse of what there was to see

I know this place I have been here before

How can it be that my memory has remembered

Something before it has happened to me

How can this be that there lays before me a

Path to be walked alone

Am I alone walking in the shadows of the day

I look at others and sometimes want to say

Hay don’t I know you is this not where we

Are meant to be

I know this place I have been here before

Did you not see me as I walked as your shadow

Going to those places you had already been

I followed in each and every footstep feeling

Knowing that we were both kin

Did you not feel me as I covered you

At times I knew everything that you would do

For I was your skin and at times reached there

And waited for you thinking where had you been

Did you not feel me as I flowed through your veins

Pumping flowing making us one and the same

I took a breath and you exhaled

We were one like a boat and it’s sail

Never going nowhere without the other

And yet both moving this way that way

To discover all that the seas had to share

Did you not miss me when I left you

Did you not feel me leave with that last

Breath of air as life said its goodbyes

Did you not hear the sound of my cries

Carried upon the winds

And shared in those tears that your eyes

Did bring to your cheeks as they were kissed

For the very that last time as life passed us by

How can you not know me how can you

Not remember for even in death we are one

And the same xx

I know this place I have been here before

But not in this reality

It is but a distant dream of what was to come

A glimpse of what there was to see

I know this place I have been here before

How can it be that my memory has remembered

Something before it has happened to me

How can this be that there lays before me a

Path to be walked alone

Am I alone walking in the shadows of the day

I look at others and sometimes want to say

Hay don’t I know you is this not where we

Are meant to be

I know this place I have been here before

Should you be that body without a soul

Is there that chance once again to ever be whole

Do you walk as if shadows in the day

Is there anything you can do

Is there anything you can say

Should you be that body without a soul

Are you acting this way or are you restricted to a role

That was placed there by destiny

Is there any other way that you could possibly be

Should you be that body without a soul

Full moon tonight looking

Down upon me

Full moon tonight seeing

What it can see

Are there faces in that moon

Then tell me do tell me why

Those faces I never see

Full moon tonight lighting up

The skies

Giving all the stars that chance

To say goodbye to the dreams

Of yesterday lighting up the way

For everyone to say

Full moon tonight lets us go outside

And play in its glow while darkness

Does not know its being restricted

To the smallest of small shadow

Full moon tonight

How can it be that in a dream

I know those things those places

We have been

And yet in the lightness of day

I know not your name as you

Walk my way and I am left

A wondering is my mind playing

Tricks is this some wrong doing

Of my hearts imagination

Oh the hurt the pain the mere

Frustration of having to walk

Alone

How can it be that in a dream

You hold my hand as silently

They scream our souls do depart

Flying high as if never apart

How cruel the reality of life

That in my dream I call you wife

To wake and not know your name

There is no need to lie

No reason to look away

Or pretend to be shy

For all I see is your shadow

Of dreams unheard screams

As your ready to cry

For the deception is in your heart

That part of you that was there

From the start

There is no need to lie

For I know where your headed

And to death say goodbye

For it was yours from the

Beginning of the end

No need for deceit no need

Of pretence

For shadow is your only friend

As I bid you farewell no

Outstretched hand is there waiting

For you

For your lies have revealed all that

Is true and brought about your

Own end

You can pretend that

Our eyes did not meet

That there was not that

Storm a ragging sheet of

Rain and wind and sleeting

Gail’s that ushered away

Our love

 

You can pretend that

Our minds did not see

That inner glow that longing

To be something anything other

Than this that fearful moment

That very first kiss

 

You can pretend that

You don’t love me and hide

Away beneath the scares of distant

Memories longing to be that other

Longing to see the distance of a smile

Rooms without windows and doors

Are they still really rooms having just four walls

How do you get in

How do you get out

Rooms without what’s that really about

In these rooms you’ll find my all

In some there are big

In some there are small

But they all make up that total of me

Now find a way in and see what you see

In those rooms without windows or doors

Love you mum XxX

Did not my mother bless me
With life given from the heart
Did she not hold my hand at
Times when I strayed apart
From true meaning and my
Wicked ways I did screening
From her sight knowing full
Well those things she told me
Were right
Did not my mother bless me
And tell me everything would
Be alright as lost in that darkness
I struggled to see the light of
The coming morning listening
To her echoes while Satan
Stood there scorning the solidity
Of her faith
Did not my mother bless me
When she said to the self be
True for we can hide from all
Others but in the end god says
I knew you were mine
Did not my mother bless me
My son I pass this blessing
Now on to you to hold no
Fear within your heart to accept
Your mistakes and move on
From that path of distraction
For there is little satisfaction
From those things not of the
Hearts inclination
Did not my mother bless me

The closer I get to you

The more of myself I reveal

The harder it gets to conceal

All that has been before

The more I want you to hold me

The harder it seems for you to console me

For all that has been before

Exists only in memory

There is a pain and understand

In all that has been known as me

The closer I get to you

Can there be any notion of originality

Should one consider that there are more

Living than the dead that have gone before

And yet we would act as if we were the first

To conceive of the lie eternal that we do not

Seek nor understand love and it is thus that

The world continues in that which it has come

To know the pain or denial and the every lasting

Conflict of self hatefulness and deception of the mind

As such it is the dreams that have become reality

As we seek shelter from the hurtfulness of living

 

xxX

A right royal message….. why are these photo’s banned….. the heart of British hypocrisy and dictatorship………….


When we have newspapers that run every conceived racial stereo typical statement raciest propaganda both political and social a legal system that endorses and perpetuates racism why is it that the an ass and pair of tits cannot be seen in British papers because it’s Royal ;s if those Royals put a stop to political bullshit and Christian hypocrisy then maybe just maybe the country would be in a better state than it is for are not the Royals the head of the state and head of the church bout bloody time they took leadership seriously and considered the plight of their people whom are harassed victimised bullied and assaulted by racists within their homes schools and communities instead of restricting rights and freedoms even more by dictating to the press what should and should not be allowed. The reality is that the only thing you are demonstrating is that money talks and those without it can be abused, I think your message is getting through loud and clear for there seems to be no redress for inequalities suffering harassment and blatant acts of racism.

 

The fact that I have recently received two convictions for protecting my son from the racist bullying and harassment of both his local school and our community in general is not surprising, the fact that it has gone on for eight years is not surprising, the fact that despite refusal of courts court appointed solicitors barristers police police investigative bodies the local council the local MP choosing not to take a firm stance on any matter of discrimination is not surprising. What is surprising is that I am expected to sit quietly and let it happen that is not nor will it every be the case. You are raciest bigots you are at the heart of all that is wrong with this country that ideology of you think you know better and put rules down for others to follow while you don’t even know them let alone have an intention of following them. Despite all you acts and omissions I am still here, despite ensure that I cannot work I am still here despite ensuring that I have current convictions I am still here. Your cowards, your hypocrites, your spineless bastards that can only pick on children in physicality and then run and hide stating that you are scared and intimidated. You should be for you have demonstrated that you have no morals character or standing when it comes to doing what it right.

The failure of the court appointed legal aid representative to make any attempt or claim of a defences while in full knowledge of the facts along with the CPS’s full endorsement and request for an excessively sever penalty without justification or reasoning in effect insisting that I be banned from half of my own community and the centre of all social activities for a disproportionate amount of time i.e five years is the continuance of not only the discriminatory practices of Rutland and Leicestershire’s police but endorsement of the discriminatory practices knowingly committed by the principal and his supporting staff within Catmose College.

 

I’m trying to get my head round the facts

  1. This man stands and shouts till his red in the face and shaking with rage at my son that’s verbal and physical intimidation
  2. My son is investigated for three months continually having his every move scrutinised and being accused of every stereo typical black male behaviour you could think of and with the passing of each one he is accused of something else
  3. My son is physically assaulted by a member of the teaching staff and no one actually gives a dam in fact the opposite it’s supported by the police and the courts the local council and the local MP
  4. I’m the one now in court for harassment and malicious content on this site

 

My conclusion….. racism is alive and kicking in Oakham it’s not only supported and endorsed by those in political power here but reinforced by the courts especially Loughborough Magistrates Court and it’s severing solicitors Straw & Pearce but also underpinned by the Leicestershire Crown Prosecution Service along with the probation service. I don’t believe in conspiracy theories these are individuals that I have met on a continual basis over the last eight years whom are more than willing to perjure themselves in court in order to appease someone or some group of people whom think that it is right to exclude humiliate and intimidate young black males whom attend Catmose College but even further than that this is a community wide issue when the police think that it is appropriate that having my home property and children assaulted attacked and damaged within Oakham is not an arrestable offence but any accusation against myself results in a court appearance supported with the full ferocity and venom of a wounded animal.

I’m comfortable with the fact that when I attend court people turn red and look the other way.

I’m comfortable with the fact that I as an uneducated individual as is so often portrayed am able to take on the local racist police, mp, council, head master, crown prosecution service and probation service on my own.

I’m comfortable looking people in the eye and knowing that I am not lying but being lied too.

I’m comfortable with knowing the truth and not being harassed intimidated or bullied into rolling over and playing dead.

I know and understand your fear for you are inadequate individuals on every level and form and you should be afraid for your system is failing…..

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